Honest Abe

I just got back on Match.com. If for nothing else, thought it would provide with more writing material. Well, Match does NOT disappoint. I haven't even gone on a date yet and I already have some writing material.

A while ago....long while ago..I'm talking maybe 3 years ago. I went on a date with someone from match. We had a drink or two, a few laughs; nothing more. We talked after the date but his schedule was so busy we never had the chance to meet up again. No big deal, no major sparks, so no loss.

I never thought about that guy again. In fact completely forgot about our date.

I get back on match, just recently, and so was he. He decided to say hi:

"Round 2 huh LoLo? Just wanted to say hi"

I responded with: "Round 2? More like round, 3,4 and 5 lol"

He responded with this: "Can I take you out for a drink again?"

I had to think, we went out on a date? It was so long ago I didn't remember and well, the date must have not been that good because it didn't stick out in my mind to remember either.

So I responded with this:


"Again? We went out for a drink? Wait, I vaguely remember that... so that can't be good. And the fact that it's been THAT long before you asked me out again....can't be a good thing either."

I had to really think, did I go out with him already? I remember laughing a lot. Come to think of it though, I'm always laughing. So wait a minute, am I the only one having a great time on these dates? Have I learned to entertain myself so well that I'm not concerned if they are having fun or not?

I digress...

I didn't know if he would respond. He did.

THIS was his response, word for word:

"I understand and you're totally justified - let me splain. You see this is my round 2, I dated a girl I met off of here shortly after we went on our date - for over a year and a half, and then even though she was on the pill I somehow managed to get her pregnant. I didn't want to have any more kids and she did so things got really messed up when I asked her to get an A-word. Eventually I wore her down and she went through with the procedure but we ended the relationship a couple of months after...It was brutal!

Tres Mujeres stuff huh?

You're gorgeous and smart and you seemed really driven, but you seemed a little detatched and aloof during our date - and that's cool cause that's how I am and despite all that I had a good time because you're like the female version of me. Cirumstances just led me in a different direction that's all. "

I didn't know what to say. I didn't respond. Don't plan to. On to the next....

Wow. I can't imagine being that girl. How awful to have to deal with a guy like that. Maybe it's just me but there seems to be a tone like "can you believe this chick wanted to have children! The nerve!"

He was honest...a little too honest but I am grateful that he was. I can respect that he was, but from that email I know he's not for me. I am all for having fun, but what if it did go into a long relationship and I ended up being that girl. That would put me in therapy for sure. To have a man tell you "I don't want this baby, though you do, get rid of it" would be beyond traumatizing.

I'm just glad that wasn't me. I don't know what kind of parent I will be. I do want kids though. I will start with one...keep the receipt in case it doesn't work out lol...and go from there. Unless I am not meant to have children, no one other than Mother Nature herself will tell me I will not have kids.

If you are man enough to stick your dick in a girl...be man enough to deal with the responsibilities. The next time you have sex with someone unprotected....think "Do I want children with this person?"

I am not against abortion. I do however, have a problem with people who use abortion as birth control. Grow the fuck up and "wrap it BEFORE you tap it" Ladies, think about who you are lying down with. Sex IS a big deal and sometimes, shit happens. Is that person going to stick by your decision, should something happen? Or "wear you down" to do what they want?