THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE.
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE; these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date…. lol!
I am in no way saying that I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun. ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them...yes, I think I might make this a habit…
And for clarification…dating is for research..I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness"...on my part anyway.
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research! lol
Chapter 8
"Do a Pole Dance for me Catalina"
"Don Juan" and I went on our first date….and well, I'm not sure what to think…..
And so it begins…..the first date….
He says our date will be a "surprise" which is nice because I LOOOOOOOOOOVE SURPRISES
He just tells me to wear a cocktail dress if I have one…I did so I wore it!
He had suggested I meet him at his place and I thought that was a good idea because I wasn't ready for him to know where I lived yet (please keep this in mind for later)…hey I don't know this guy and I also thought, if I'm having a bad time, I don't have to wait for him to bring me home.
So I get to his place and am trying to find parking by his house; I call him. He says that I could either A, pull up to his building and he would hop in my car, lead me to his parking garage, I could park, and then we would take his car on our date or I could B. drive us. I of course chose A…I'm in a dress and heels and hey, he invited me so I thought that was a no brainer. He hops in my car and says "Wow, would you mind driving us, you have a much nicer car than I do." Well what was I supposed to say at that point but "ok, I guess." He continued with "I drive a Mitsubishi Montero Sport and it's filthy, this is much more fitting."
**Guys, if you ask a lady out on a date, YOU DRIVE. I was all dressed up in heels and a dress, and he's going to have me drive us on the date HE invited me on?! No, No!.**
He said his car was filthy. I don't care what you are driving, if you invite the girl, get your shit washed, and drive her! If you're dating that's different or even if it's more of a casual meeting for coffee or something maybe, but not a formal date, because guess what, if I invited you on a formal date….I would be picking YOU up!**
Well really in my mind, the guy had come off as such a "ladies man" and that he knew EXACTLY how to treat a lady…I didn't expect that from him….but whatever.
So I drive us to the "surprise location" and we pull up to Anthology. If you haven't checked it out, you should FOR SHOOOO www.anthologysd.com.
Turns out they have concerts there. That night they had the French group "Les Nubians". It was jazz in French so I couldn't understand most of it…but it was sexy…really really sexy! The food was really good too. Well, with that said, I quickly forgot about the whole driving thing. All I wanted to do was enjoy his company, the music and the food….It was a lot of fun, we danced, laughed and we were getting to know eachother.
The concert ended and we are heading out….we run into a friend of his, and he introduces me…. "This is Catalina"
WHAT THE F!? I shook his friends hand and quickly corrected him, "actually it's Lorena"……my nervous humor came out and I just played it off but I was embarrassed….needless to say so was he. I just decided to be funny as to act like it wasn't a big deal but really come on! I was beginning to think he wasn't quite the ladies man; not as smooth as he came off to be that's for sure! As we were walking out, he says, "I swear I don't know where that came from, I don't even know a Catalina" I just said "honest mistake it's fine…."
I didn't get to bent out of shape because to his credit, he has never called me by my name other than when he met me….He usually calls me "Mamita," or "Princesa" which for those who don't know, are Spanish come ons like "baby" which I don't think anyone should be saying unless you are dating…..super corny and I told him (playfully of course) "do girls you just met actually like that?"
He invites me back to his house for some coffee. I wasn't going to stay long so I said ok. We get in to his place and lo and behold! A STRIPPER POLE smack dab in the middle of his living room …Oh dear Jesus!
I didn't know what to say…..I had never seen a stripper pole in someone's home before….heard of it though lol.
He swore it wasn't his. He was renting the condo, he just moved in and it was the owners. He said he actually thought it was a fireman's pole…hmmmm really, I mean really!?? He tried to get me to dance on it… I wasn't having it…
Moving on….
We begin some small talk and then he does it…he opened the EX-FILE….and this all started when he kept probing about my relationship status…I didn't divulge much…so he decided to instead. He said he just got out of a 6 year relationship in February….**** WARNING, WARNING, REBOUND ZONE**** This didn't need to be brought up I mean really, I just wanted to get to know him…not about his practically previous marriage….because now instead of just focusing on him…all I can think about is "REBOUND, REBOUND, REBOUND"
He had also mentioned something to the effect of me being his next girlfriend which added to the whole REBOUND warning. He went on to say that he was confident that this was going to lead somewhere. My mind began racing….I thought "ok, now to make a quick get away..hmm, if I take the firemans pole I can make a quick exit….oh yeah except it wasn't a firemans pole, and it didn't lead anywhere except from the ceiling to the floor (as a stripper pole would of course!) so that wasn't going to work!
*Guys, be careful because girls can be scared off too sometimes. If it's too much too soon, it's a turn off and it will end quicker than anything even had a chance to begin. You don't want to over crowd with questions like, "when are we seeing eachother again?, why are you so busy?, why cant we move in together after only a week (all symptoms of whiney cry baby syndrome better known as BITCHASSNESS!) **BEWARE, THIS DISEASE IS RUNNING RAMPID IN OUR STREETS!** …no seriously I think most of my friends have been exposed! Time to QUARANTINE before it spreads!
I digress....
I responded to the girlfriend conversation and just put it out there, I said I wanted to take things easy…I am in no rush and I would really like to keep it casual for a while and really get to know someone before it goes anywhere else…. He said he was fine with that.
It was getting late and I was getting ready to go…he puts on his "macho" (as I like to call it) and says, "Hey well if you should happen to think of me this weekend, feel free to call or text and I will do the same….maybe"
Wow, "maybe?" ok, so he's playing cocky now….
Well I went home and didn't really know what to think except that hey I hope he's cool with us just hanging out for a while before we get married LOL LOL!
Well the next day all of that talk of him being ok with us keeping it casual for a while went out the window….He called me and wanted to see me that night and how he couldn't stop thinking about me….(Didn't I just see you?) Lol!
I told him I had some appointments that evening and I would call after and if he wasn't busy maybe could meet at a coffee shop or something. Then again…he brings out the cocky guy "well if you don't reserve time with me now, I may not be available for you later" (WHAT?)
So I responded with, "ok, let's just shoot for no then" I am assuming he was expecting me to be all "oh gosh no well I don't want that, can we please pretty please see eachother again right now!"… I didn't see him that night or that weekend.
"DON'T EVER LEAVE ME BECAUSE I'LL FIND YOU"
He wanted to see me that Sunday but I told him I had plans. He calls me Sunday night. He asked me if I had just walked home….which was odd to begin with…I said "No".
Him: "Well I'm not one to be in your business but I'm just asking because I just left a gift on your doorstep."
**keep in mind…I never told this guy where I lived**
Me: "How did you find out where I lived?"
Him: "Well I'm resourceful, and I mean I would never just show up at your house randomly but I was just thinking of you and wanted to give you a gift."
I went to the door and opened it to find a plant (orchids) and a card. I was taken back. It was very sweet but I didn't know if I should be flattered or scared.
So I just thanked him and said it was a very thoughtful and sweet gift. He did say not to look to much into it..."it's just a gift"although the card that came with it said "take care of this as you would hopefully one day take care of us."
After much thought and advice from friends, I thought I should just enjoy my gift, I deserve it right!?? and as my friend Liliana so eloquently put it "Enjoy it Lori because I mean come on, how many guys are doing that for you? and who knows how long it will be before a guys does that for you again."
She had a point, but I got to thinking…..if the shoe was on the other foot and a girl found out where a guy lived and delivered a gift, I'm wondering if the over all response would be "psycho biaaatch!"
Some of my friends thought it was a bit stalkerish but if he really gets that I would really like to take it easy….it's a nice gesture
So the guy likes me what's wrong with that and I mean really…what's not to like?? LOL LOL!
I am just going to relax, have fun, and not read too much into anything...
we shall see....
Now some refreshers:
*Again guys and girls alike, first date conversation should just be about getting to know eachother….no talk of relationships or why you are single or why they are single….conversation should be kept light and fun! As I have stated in previous blogs, I know we use the "relationship status" as filler but that just sets the precedence of what you are looking for instead of just truly getting to know eachother….and if too much is said too soon, a girl or guy may be turned off as opposed to getting to know you first. If you let them get to know you first, when the baggage is revealed, they may be more willing to look over it, because hey everyone has their issues, it's just a matter of getting to know if you like the person enough to get past it….and I doubt you can figure that out on the first date*
-You may be thinking…well it's better to know up front so you don't waste your time…well here's what, everyone puts their best foot forward on the first date and if the "ex-file" is opened too soon, there's a chance they will say whatever they have to say to put themselves in the best light. We all do it. No one is going to talk about the anger issues or jealousy issues they had with their ex without making it look like it wasn't their fault….
So remember….keep it light, fun, TAKE IT EASY, relax, and just enjoy it for what it is…nothing more.
Happy Dating Everyone! :)
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE CH.7
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE.
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE; these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date…. lol!
I am in no way saying that I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun. ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them...yes, I think I might make this a habit…
And for clarification…dating is for research..I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness"...on my part anyway.
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research! lol
Chapter 7
"Don Juan DeMarco"
CONFIDENCE….guys…it will get you everywhere…
Cinco de Mayo..out with a friend to grab some dinner. The restaurant was packed….we moved to the bar hoping someone was leaving soon so we could grab a seat.
*I have been told by many of my friends that I can be oblivious when a guy is checking me out. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.....I guess because I'm pretty content with my life, it is so rare that I go out with the intention of meeting guys other than for business….
We are looking around, and spot a group moving over to another table except one guy stays behind, we thought he might be leaving as well so we simply ask if the table was taken.
By this time, he had noticed me....but I didn't notice that....yet! lol
He says, "Well if you don't mind me sitting with you ladies, you can sit here."
So we say Thank You, and out of courtesy introduce ourselves. Mind you at this point, I still hadn't noticed him. I was there with my girlfriend and we weren't trying to be rude other than I just didn't notice him and we were starving lol!
So shortly after we sit down and order our food, he turns to me and begins conversation, and in order for him not to be rude to my friend, begins conversation with her as well. ...
This guy had us both laughing in no time.
NOW I noticed him.
He was making conversation with me, complimented me, but he NEVER made my friend feel left out….me likey…
The conversation began flowing.....
It was like a nice little first date. No ex-file talk, no baggage, just nice, innocent, interesting, humorous conversation.
Oh this guy was a charmer but not in a sleazy way….I could tell he knew what he was doing, but you can't fake humor…he was making me laugh and being silly, you could tell he didn't take himself too seriously and his humor was natural…..it was nice.
He was talking to me like he knew me and it was weird but I felt like he did. He was persistent. After about an hour and a half of non stop conversation, he says
" So when are we seeing eachother again?" I was a bit taking back and my guard went up…
"See eachother again, for what? Who's going to be there? Where are we going?" (Jeez dream kill much Lori!?) lol
He sensed it, and very calmly said, "Look, I am really enjoying your company and from what I get you are enjoying mine. I would like to see you again, and if you are uncomfortable with that, you can bring your friend too, we can do a big group thing and go dancing." I looked at his friend and they seemed harmless lol.
I tried to keep my cool of course ;-) but I couldn't help that I was intrigued with this guy. He was persistent, cool, calm and collected! He NEVER even asked if I had a boyfriend. Not once! It was like he was so confident that I wouldn't turn him down no matter what my situation was. Even my friend noticed he never even asked…kind of like he knew what he wanted and was going to take it and now, it was like I was back in high school, I didn't know how to behave!
So when I say, "yeah that sounds good", he says, " let's schedule it now, because just saying that it sounds good means that you may only think about it, scheduling it now makes it more of a sure thing. Let's schedule it now" N.O.W –No Opportunity Wasted!!
I gave him my number….
You think his charm ends there but oh no!…
I love to dance, and in this restaurant in the bar area, there was a band playing, Spanish music. He doesn't ask me, he tells me, "come on, let's dance" I couldn't say no.
(He likes to dance 3 points!) hahaaa
He was fun and had me cracking up the whole time. I could tell he could dance but again he didn't take himself too seriously and was being silly. Even his group of friends at the next table were cheering us on..
What unexpected fun that was.
My friend and I were getting ready to leave and the bill came.
Well it was like I was buzzed but I had nothing to drink! I couldn't write correctly, I didn't even sign my name right! I was thinking "What is this guy doing to me!?" Even my friend noticed….She later brought it to my attention…. "It was like you were buzzed…OFF OF HIM!"
We left right after we got the bill. He was a gentleman, he gave me a hug, said goodbye to the both of us and I had to bite my lower lip to stop from smiling from ear to ear. I needed to try and regain some sort of control lol!
We got in the car and I turned to my friend and said "Wow, you realize we have just met the real life Don Juan DeMarco?"
To be honest, I don't remember what he looks like, and that is simply because I am never impressed much by looks, but I do know that I was impressed with his charm and confidence.
**Don't confuse confidence with cockiness! Guys do not walk up to a girl and try to overcompensate by cracking smart ass jokes that you have no idea what to do with!? Charm is a skill, it takes practice. It's ok if you're an amateur but know your limits! If you don't have game- don't throw out the brilliant lines all at once. Keep your cool. I think guys make it harder than it has to be. Believe me…Women can tell when you are trying to hard….it can't be said enough, BE YOURSELF! There is humor in everyday life..USE IT to make her laugh but be natural about it…come on, No one really likes the Jim Carrey types do they?
*And just because you get the girls number doesn't mean now you can act like a retard. Again, charm and confidence is something that comes from the inside out. It needs to be carried out through getting to know eachother..it's not just get the date and be done with it. A true charmer will be charming throughout a growing friendship…(which will hold true for this guy too huh if he's really as charming as he seems!?) lol
**Ladies, do the same….Men like to laugh too you know!? We always say that we want a guy that can make us laugh but we should make them laugh as well! Work on it girls!
Me, I don't have that problem…I make myself laugh all of the time! ;p
As a refresher, this is for informational purposes only!
Just because this guy was a charmer, you will NOT SEE BITCHASSNESS or SELLING OUT from me!
I may have just entered into a real life "Don Juan DeMarco" situation but hey, he got my number and to be honest, if he hadn't approached me, I probably wouldn't have noticed him other wise even though he was sitting right next to me….
And hey…at the very least this can only give me more stories to write about right!?;-)
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE; these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date…. lol!
I am in no way saying that I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun. ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them...yes, I think I might make this a habit…
And for clarification…dating is for research..I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness"...on my part anyway.
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research! lol
Chapter 7
"Don Juan DeMarco"
CONFIDENCE….guys…it will get you everywhere…
Cinco de Mayo..out with a friend to grab some dinner. The restaurant was packed….we moved to the bar hoping someone was leaving soon so we could grab a seat.
*I have been told by many of my friends that I can be oblivious when a guy is checking me out. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.....I guess because I'm pretty content with my life, it is so rare that I go out with the intention of meeting guys other than for business….
We are looking around, and spot a group moving over to another table except one guy stays behind, we thought he might be leaving as well so we simply ask if the table was taken.
By this time, he had noticed me....but I didn't notice that....yet! lol
He says, "Well if you don't mind me sitting with you ladies, you can sit here."
So we say Thank You, and out of courtesy introduce ourselves. Mind you at this point, I still hadn't noticed him. I was there with my girlfriend and we weren't trying to be rude other than I just didn't notice him and we were starving lol!
So shortly after we sit down and order our food, he turns to me and begins conversation, and in order for him not to be rude to my friend, begins conversation with her as well. ...
This guy had us both laughing in no time.
NOW I noticed him.
He was making conversation with me, complimented me, but he NEVER made my friend feel left out….me likey…
The conversation began flowing.....
It was like a nice little first date. No ex-file talk, no baggage, just nice, innocent, interesting, humorous conversation.
Oh this guy was a charmer but not in a sleazy way….I could tell he knew what he was doing, but you can't fake humor…he was making me laugh and being silly, you could tell he didn't take himself too seriously and his humor was natural…..it was nice.
He was talking to me like he knew me and it was weird but I felt like he did. He was persistent. After about an hour and a half of non stop conversation, he says
" So when are we seeing eachother again?" I was a bit taking back and my guard went up…
"See eachother again, for what? Who's going to be there? Where are we going?" (Jeez dream kill much Lori!?) lol
He sensed it, and very calmly said, "Look, I am really enjoying your company and from what I get you are enjoying mine. I would like to see you again, and if you are uncomfortable with that, you can bring your friend too, we can do a big group thing and go dancing." I looked at his friend and they seemed harmless lol.
I tried to keep my cool of course ;-) but I couldn't help that I was intrigued with this guy. He was persistent, cool, calm and collected! He NEVER even asked if I had a boyfriend. Not once! It was like he was so confident that I wouldn't turn him down no matter what my situation was. Even my friend noticed he never even asked…kind of like he knew what he wanted and was going to take it and now, it was like I was back in high school, I didn't know how to behave!
So when I say, "yeah that sounds good", he says, " let's schedule it now, because just saying that it sounds good means that you may only think about it, scheduling it now makes it more of a sure thing. Let's schedule it now" N.O.W –No Opportunity Wasted!!
I gave him my number….
You think his charm ends there but oh no!…
I love to dance, and in this restaurant in the bar area, there was a band playing, Spanish music. He doesn't ask me, he tells me, "come on, let's dance" I couldn't say no.
(He likes to dance 3 points!) hahaaa
He was fun and had me cracking up the whole time. I could tell he could dance but again he didn't take himself too seriously and was being silly. Even his group of friends at the next table were cheering us on..
What unexpected fun that was.
My friend and I were getting ready to leave and the bill came.
Well it was like I was buzzed but I had nothing to drink! I couldn't write correctly, I didn't even sign my name right! I was thinking "What is this guy doing to me!?" Even my friend noticed….She later brought it to my attention…. "It was like you were buzzed…OFF OF HIM!"
We left right after we got the bill. He was a gentleman, he gave me a hug, said goodbye to the both of us and I had to bite my lower lip to stop from smiling from ear to ear. I needed to try and regain some sort of control lol!
We got in the car and I turned to my friend and said "Wow, you realize we have just met the real life Don Juan DeMarco?"
To be honest, I don't remember what he looks like, and that is simply because I am never impressed much by looks, but I do know that I was impressed with his charm and confidence.
**Don't confuse confidence with cockiness! Guys do not walk up to a girl and try to overcompensate by cracking smart ass jokes that you have no idea what to do with!? Charm is a skill, it takes practice. It's ok if you're an amateur but know your limits! If you don't have game- don't throw out the brilliant lines all at once. Keep your cool. I think guys make it harder than it has to be. Believe me…Women can tell when you are trying to hard….it can't be said enough, BE YOURSELF! There is humor in everyday life..USE IT to make her laugh but be natural about it…come on, No one really likes the Jim Carrey types do they?
*And just because you get the girls number doesn't mean now you can act like a retard. Again, charm and confidence is something that comes from the inside out. It needs to be carried out through getting to know eachother..it's not just get the date and be done with it. A true charmer will be charming throughout a growing friendship…(which will hold true for this guy too huh if he's really as charming as he seems!?) lol
**Ladies, do the same….Men like to laugh too you know!? We always say that we want a guy that can make us laugh but we should make them laugh as well! Work on it girls!
Me, I don't have that problem…I make myself laugh all of the time! ;p
As a refresher, this is for informational purposes only!
Just because this guy was a charmer, you will NOT SEE BITCHASSNESS or SELLING OUT from me!
I may have just entered into a real life "Don Juan DeMarco" situation but hey, he got my number and to be honest, if he hadn't approached me, I probably wouldn't have noticed him other wise even though he was sitting right next to me….
And hey…at the very least this can only give me more stories to write about right!?;-)
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE CH. 6
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE.
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE, these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date…. lol!
I am in no way saying that I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun. ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them...yes, I think I might make this a habit…
And for clarification…dating is for research..I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness"...on my part anyway.
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research! lol
Chapter 6
"SPRING FEVER"
A friend of mine and I actually had a WTF moment the other day when we ran into some old flames that we hadn't seen in forever…..ON THE SAME DAY NO LESS!.. For the rest of the day, I think we both sat on my couch trying to figure out what had happened….all of these old feelings came back…and all of these questions came about.
We both had to slap the shit out of each other to bring eachother back to reality….
"NO BITCHASSNESS!"
My friend asked, "What is going on, was it a full moon recently or something?" I didn't know what was going on but I had to find out. I called a friend and she quickly said, "Umm yeah duh, Spring Fever"
"Spring Whutta?"
So she explained it to me…and well I wasn't satisfied so I Googled it.
YES…It made sense!
Have you stopped to look around you?? Have you noticed that people are coming out of the woodwork like you wouldn't believe???
Even you too, maybe have sent a drunken text message, emailed or called someone that you haven't spoken to in a while?
Ladies, A "Hey beautiful, how are you?" Oh yeah, and they usually end it with "it's been a while" SOUND FAMILIAR?
I'm telling you, All of a sudden…they come sniffin' around like I'm an open can of Puppy Chow!
IT'S THIS WEATHER!
Check this out! This article actually explains Spring Fever….we all go through it to a certain degree….you might notice that your dating calendar is a little busier than usual right now…
Now some of you may think it's a myth…but I for one believe it…
http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_200/210_dating_advice.html
You can attribute it to whatever you'd like, warmer weather means people get out more, the smell of blossoming flowers makes you feel romantic, either way it's affecting us. Is it just the weather or is it more instinct though? Kind of like "mating season" where even if we never stepped outside when the warm weather set in, would we still feel the pull to go out and find a mate?
Well folks, bottom line, it smells like love is in the air or so people think, and do with it what you will but just remember….NO BITCHASSNESS for fucks sake!
And watch as it starts to get cold again…see how many people have their "person" and go into hibernation lol!
Have you noticed a difference in behavior in men around you?
Gentlemen, how about the ladies around you???
Take a second and think? Maybe not to date them again but possibly just reconnect? I have looked back and there have been a few small reconnections with my past, innocent and brief but still…
Wow, think about it…deep down, we really are just animals huh?
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE, these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date…. lol!
I am in no way saying that I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun. ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them...yes, I think I might make this a habit…
And for clarification…dating is for research..I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness"...on my part anyway.
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research! lol
Chapter 6
"SPRING FEVER"
A friend of mine and I actually had a WTF moment the other day when we ran into some old flames that we hadn't seen in forever…..ON THE SAME DAY NO LESS!.. For the rest of the day, I think we both sat on my couch trying to figure out what had happened….all of these old feelings came back…and all of these questions came about.
We both had to slap the shit out of each other to bring eachother back to reality….
"NO BITCHASSNESS!"
My friend asked, "What is going on, was it a full moon recently or something?" I didn't know what was going on but I had to find out. I called a friend and she quickly said, "Umm yeah duh, Spring Fever"
"Spring Whutta?"
So she explained it to me…and well I wasn't satisfied so I Googled it.
YES…It made sense!
Have you stopped to look around you?? Have you noticed that people are coming out of the woodwork like you wouldn't believe???
Even you too, maybe have sent a drunken text message, emailed or called someone that you haven't spoken to in a while?
Ladies, A "Hey beautiful, how are you?" Oh yeah, and they usually end it with "it's been a while" SOUND FAMILIAR?
I'm telling you, All of a sudden…they come sniffin' around like I'm an open can of Puppy Chow!
IT'S THIS WEATHER!
Check this out! This article actually explains Spring Fever….we all go through it to a certain degree….you might notice that your dating calendar is a little busier than usual right now…
Now some of you may think it's a myth…but I for one believe it…
http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_200/210_dating_advice.html
You can attribute it to whatever you'd like, warmer weather means people get out more, the smell of blossoming flowers makes you feel romantic, either way it's affecting us. Is it just the weather or is it more instinct though? Kind of like "mating season" where even if we never stepped outside when the warm weather set in, would we still feel the pull to go out and find a mate?
Well folks, bottom line, it smells like love is in the air or so people think, and do with it what you will but just remember….NO BITCHASSNESS for fucks sake!
And watch as it starts to get cold again…see how many people have their "person" and go into hibernation lol!
Have you noticed a difference in behavior in men around you?
Gentlemen, how about the ladies around you???
Take a second and think? Maybe not to date them again but possibly just reconnect? I have looked back and there have been a few small reconnections with my past, innocent and brief but still…
Wow, think about it…deep down, we really are just animals huh?
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE CH.5
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE; these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date...lol!
I am in no way saying I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them... yes, I think I may make this a habit...
And for clarification...dating is for research... I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness." On my part anyway...
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research!..lol
Chapter 5
**TIP OF THE DAY: LADIES, AND GENTLEMEN….BEWARE OF THE "REBOUND ZONE". Trust me there are some signs, flashing lights all around, and yes, you will hear the occasional annoying buzzing sound warning you that you are entering… but sometimes you WILL NOT see them….ahhh yes, if only these signs were more obvious, maybe like the fabulous signs of the crossing immigrants on the 5 Freeway…that would save us a lot of time…
**BE ALERT AND ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK**
'DUMPED AT THE COFFEE BEAN'
WARNING- NOW ENTERING THE REBOUND ZONE!...
Ahhhh the Coffee Bean, where you can get great tasting crack in a cup, WI-FI, and on occasion, witness BITCHASSNESS in it's purest form....
I went out with this guy a few times and we were having fun, getting to know each other. This was only going on for about 3 weeks. Things were going fine, he called a lot but I didn't mind; we had good conversation. I thought I made it clear that I wanted us to be friends for a while but maybe not clear enough? I thought we were doing pretty well on conversation over that short period of time and I really wasn't interested in hearing about the ex yet but he offered the information…looking back, he obviously needed to vent…whatever. I didn't mind hearing about it because we were just hanging out.
**POSSIBLE SIGNS OF A RECENT BREAK UP…CLINGINESS, A WANT TO TALK OF THE EX OFTEN , AND COMPARING YOU TO THE EX (THIS IS POSSIBLY TO MASK FEELINGS THEY STILL HAVE FOR THE EX)
After only going out on a few dates, I get a call on a Wednesday morning. "Lori I need to talk to you, can you meet me at the Coffee Bean in like an hour?"
So I show up…and he sits me down…
Him: "Hey, well you know that girl I was seeing?"
Me: "Yeah"
Him: "Well she called me the other day to catch up and well, we started talking. When I told her I was hanging out with you, she didn't like that and now she wants to get back together. I think I want to give it a chance and I can't see you anymore."
I was a bit dumbfounded and hadn't considered us dating really but now I was being dumped…my pride stepped in…..uh-oh. Was this necessary? I wouldn't have thought twice if he backed away slowly but now…now, I'm feeling dumped and What the F!, now I'm pissed!
Me: "Let me get this straight, you're dumping me right now?"
Me: "Well you Sir, are a PUNK B*TCH!!...no offense." LOL…I didn't really say that.
"No, no you're right, we didn't establish anything and well, you have to do what's best for you I guess." (and believe me, I wasn't going to chain him to the chair to get him to keep hanging out with me..he made his choice, it wasn't wise but it's not my fault he's retarded)
We gave the obligatory hug and parted ways.
So I walked back home, as it's only across the street from my house and called my girlfriend….immediately.
Me: "Dude, you won't believe what just happened, " Juan de Leon" just dumped me….at the Coffee Bean!"
Her: "What? Are you serious?"
Me: "Yeah, I didn't even know we were dating, I'm pissed….I think? Or wait….I don't know how to process what the f*ck just happened."
(silence)….then, A BURST OF LAUGHTER FROM BOTH OF US!
We laughed for a bit and I felt better in no time…thank God for girlfriends! J
Now, I have a sort of love /hate relationship with the Coffee Bean…good times….
------------------
Well if you can believe it, it kind of happened again. A friend was setting me up with a friend of hers. I knew him but not that well. I had heard he was going to ask me out but he hadn't called. A week passed, two weeks passed and then I got a call. He actually left it on a voicemail…
He called to explain to me that a friend of his had liked him for a while (of this I was made briefly aware of but he said he had no intention of dating her) and again, when he explained to her that he was dating….she didn't like it and made her move….and well, he decided to go with it!
"So basically, I'm calling to tell you I won't be asking you out.
I really wanted to too, this sucks! But hey, if this doesn't work out with her, can I call you?"
WOW!!!
Oh, gosh really!? Can I be the lucky second!? Well I will be waiting by the phone for you ok…holding my breath in fact!
*Guys, I think you might think a call is courteous, but it's not necessary if you haven't asked her out on a first date yet! There really is no way to look like "the good guy" in this situation….trust me, just don't call.
And I must say..I must be good luck or something because as soon as these guys mention they are going to go out with me..they get what they want back….which is obviously saying I was the tool they intended on using to get the girls they REALLY wanted in the first place. They swear that's not the case and that it was not on purpose but come on…you can't fight it…the heart wants what it wants and you sometimes need someone to get your mind off what you really want; kind of fill the void in the meantime….and ladies let's face it, we can't be "THE GIRL" for every guy right?
And I mean hey, if I can help someone out LOL LOL …
After it happened the second time, I started to think to myself, "What the hell am I doing?" I am just looking to hang out with some good people and I'm already getting dumped before I even decide if I want a relationship!
I had to do some self-evaluation. I must have been attracting these guys, afterall, the common denominator was ME! For a second I wanted to be down on myself, "What, am I not pretty enough, not smart enough, WTF!??" We all have done it I'm sure…come on ladies..you have. As long as you don't let it ruin your life lol, you're fine…but it's all natural for us to go through these thoughts…briefly :)
So maybe these guys are just making this stuff up, maybe they just don't want to go out with me and they don't want to hurt my feelings...
**DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY LADIES, or guys alike..don't beat yourself up..It really isn't about you, the only thing you can do is follow your feelings and learn the lessons that come with that.
I know you can't always know what you are getting into even if you are just friends first but, it really is nice to try and get to know someone first. If you then decide you want to take it to the next level and begin dating, you will be better aware of whether or not you are entering the "rebound zone" and know how to deal with it accordingly.
Some of you may be thinking, well if you just ask "when was your last relationship" on the first date…you will have your questions answered. Well no, because they will swear to you up and down that they are over it…or give you the ever so CLASSIC LINE: " It was over long before I broke up with her" LOL-CLASSIC I SAY!...and again…not 1st date conversation.
Now, on occasion, I actually lend a good ear for my buddies to vent about their girlfriends (yes these women and these situations are real I assure you) .... wow, "it's not working out, I didn't see that coming at all!" teeheee…I wish them only the best-seriously. I want them happy, it's just not going to be with me…you had your chance sorry…oh and believe me, they are both well aware of this.
And yes, sometimes people deserve a second chance. I have actually been on the other side of this before and have been given a second chance….but in all honesty…a second chance is reserved for very, very special people. :)
-Ever happened to you!!????
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE; these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date...lol!
I am in no way saying I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them... yes, I think I may make this a habit...
And for clarification...dating is for research... I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness." On my part anyway...
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research!..lol
Chapter 5
**TIP OF THE DAY: LADIES, AND GENTLEMEN….BEWARE OF THE "REBOUND ZONE". Trust me there are some signs, flashing lights all around, and yes, you will hear the occasional annoying buzzing sound warning you that you are entering… but sometimes you WILL NOT see them….ahhh yes, if only these signs were more obvious, maybe like the fabulous signs of the crossing immigrants on the 5 Freeway…that would save us a lot of time…
**BE ALERT AND ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK**
'DUMPED AT THE COFFEE BEAN'
WARNING- NOW ENTERING THE REBOUND ZONE!...
Ahhhh the Coffee Bean, where you can get great tasting crack in a cup, WI-FI, and on occasion, witness BITCHASSNESS in it's purest form....
I went out with this guy a few times and we were having fun, getting to know each other. This was only going on for about 3 weeks. Things were going fine, he called a lot but I didn't mind; we had good conversation. I thought I made it clear that I wanted us to be friends for a while but maybe not clear enough? I thought we were doing pretty well on conversation over that short period of time and I really wasn't interested in hearing about the ex yet but he offered the information…looking back, he obviously needed to vent…whatever. I didn't mind hearing about it because we were just hanging out.
**POSSIBLE SIGNS OF A RECENT BREAK UP…CLINGINESS, A WANT TO TALK OF THE EX OFTEN , AND COMPARING YOU TO THE EX (THIS IS POSSIBLY TO MASK FEELINGS THEY STILL HAVE FOR THE EX)
After only going out on a few dates, I get a call on a Wednesday morning. "Lori I need to talk to you, can you meet me at the Coffee Bean in like an hour?"
So I show up…and he sits me down…
Him: "Hey, well you know that girl I was seeing?"
Me: "Yeah"
Him: "Well she called me the other day to catch up and well, we started talking. When I told her I was hanging out with you, she didn't like that and now she wants to get back together. I think I want to give it a chance and I can't see you anymore."
I was a bit dumbfounded and hadn't considered us dating really but now I was being dumped…my pride stepped in…..uh-oh. Was this necessary? I wouldn't have thought twice if he backed away slowly but now…now, I'm feeling dumped and What the F!, now I'm pissed!
Me: "Let me get this straight, you're dumping me right now?"
Me: "Well you Sir, are a PUNK B*TCH!!...no offense." LOL…I didn't really say that.
"No, no you're right, we didn't establish anything and well, you have to do what's best for you I guess." (and believe me, I wasn't going to chain him to the chair to get him to keep hanging out with me..he made his choice, it wasn't wise but it's not my fault he's retarded)
We gave the obligatory hug and parted ways.
So I walked back home, as it's only across the street from my house and called my girlfriend….immediately.
Me: "Dude, you won't believe what just happened, " Juan de Leon" just dumped me….at the Coffee Bean!"
Her: "What? Are you serious?"
Me: "Yeah, I didn't even know we were dating, I'm pissed….I think? Or wait….I don't know how to process what the f*ck just happened."
(silence)….then, A BURST OF LAUGHTER FROM BOTH OF US!
We laughed for a bit and I felt better in no time…thank God for girlfriends! J
Now, I have a sort of love /hate relationship with the Coffee Bean…good times….
------------------
Well if you can believe it, it kind of happened again. A friend was setting me up with a friend of hers. I knew him but not that well. I had heard he was going to ask me out but he hadn't called. A week passed, two weeks passed and then I got a call. He actually left it on a voicemail…
He called to explain to me that a friend of his had liked him for a while (of this I was made briefly aware of but he said he had no intention of dating her) and again, when he explained to her that he was dating….she didn't like it and made her move….and well, he decided to go with it!
"So basically, I'm calling to tell you I won't be asking you out.
I really wanted to too, this sucks! But hey, if this doesn't work out with her, can I call you?"
WOW!!!
Oh, gosh really!? Can I be the lucky second!? Well I will be waiting by the phone for you ok…holding my breath in fact!
*Guys, I think you might think a call is courteous, but it's not necessary if you haven't asked her out on a first date yet! There really is no way to look like "the good guy" in this situation….trust me, just don't call.
And I must say..I must be good luck or something because as soon as these guys mention they are going to go out with me..they get what they want back….which is obviously saying I was the tool they intended on using to get the girls they REALLY wanted in the first place. They swear that's not the case and that it was not on purpose but come on…you can't fight it…the heart wants what it wants and you sometimes need someone to get your mind off what you really want; kind of fill the void in the meantime….and ladies let's face it, we can't be "THE GIRL" for every guy right?
And I mean hey, if I can help someone out LOL LOL …
After it happened the second time, I started to think to myself, "What the hell am I doing?" I am just looking to hang out with some good people and I'm already getting dumped before I even decide if I want a relationship!
I had to do some self-evaluation. I must have been attracting these guys, afterall, the common denominator was ME! For a second I wanted to be down on myself, "What, am I not pretty enough, not smart enough, WTF!??" We all have done it I'm sure…come on ladies..you have. As long as you don't let it ruin your life lol, you're fine…but it's all natural for us to go through these thoughts…briefly :)
So maybe these guys are just making this stuff up, maybe they just don't want to go out with me and they don't want to hurt my feelings...
**DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY LADIES, or guys alike..don't beat yourself up..It really isn't about you, the only thing you can do is follow your feelings and learn the lessons that come with that.
I know you can't always know what you are getting into even if you are just friends first but, it really is nice to try and get to know someone first. If you then decide you want to take it to the next level and begin dating, you will be better aware of whether or not you are entering the "rebound zone" and know how to deal with it accordingly.
Some of you may be thinking, well if you just ask "when was your last relationship" on the first date…you will have your questions answered. Well no, because they will swear to you up and down that they are over it…or give you the ever so CLASSIC LINE: " It was over long before I broke up with her" LOL-CLASSIC I SAY!...and again…not 1st date conversation.
Now, on occasion, I actually lend a good ear for my buddies to vent about their girlfriends (yes these women and these situations are real I assure you) .... wow, "it's not working out, I didn't see that coming at all!" teeheee…I wish them only the best-seriously. I want them happy, it's just not going to be with me…you had your chance sorry…oh and believe me, they are both well aware of this.
And yes, sometimes people deserve a second chance. I have actually been on the other side of this before and have been given a second chance….but in all honesty…a second chance is reserved for very, very special people. :)
-Ever happened to you!!????
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE CH.4
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE, these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date...lol!
I am in no way saying I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them... yes, I think I may make this a habit...
And for clarification...dating is for research... I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness." On my part anyway...
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research!..lol
Chapter 4
"Cause it's 1, 2, 3 strikes you're out"
I went on a date last week and let's just say…he put himself in the friends zone
He wanted to meet up for a drink, he picked Seau's which is a Bar and Grill for those who aren't in the know. I knew the game was on but I thought it was a good choice, we could have a few drinks, all very casual, have a few laughs and get to know eachother. I didn't expect that his love for baseball would really over power our meet up.
*Guys, do not take a girl to Seau's to watch the base ball game on the first date. I am all for the game but …when she is talking to you, you need to be looking her in the eyes not looking at the TV yelling- "double play!"
*When engaging in conversation, do not do all the talking…ask her questions and don't try to initiate more conversation with "so what else would you like to know about me?", after you just spent the last hour talking about yourself and not asking her anything in return.
*I love kids but I don't find it necessary to bring out the pics of your kids on the first date. I understand proud Papas everywhere want to do this but please, on the first date…hold back unless she asks you to see them. Why you ask? Because you don't know how she is going to react and not every woman is going to respond with "oh how cute, when can I meet them"
*When the bill comes guys, you pay for it. Do not let the girl pay. THIS IS OUT OF COURTESY. Now I know some of you are thinking, in this dating age, it should be equal…but fellas, ladies like to be treated as ladies..you invited her, you pay the bill…if she throws out her card, do not take it. Of course should she call you up one day and say "I'm taking you out, I'm paying", or should the dating lead to a relationship, by all means, you can go back and forth. But the first date typically-YOU PAY.
I took my card out, expected him to decline to take it…but he took my card…..so speaking in terms he would understand "can you say strike 3 buddy?"
Guys, the first date should just be about getting to know each other, your likes and dislikes, hobbies, goals etc. There should be no emotional back drop to your life and baby mama drama either. All the talk of the "ex" and how she "screwed you over, but you still have love for her" is not necessary. Talk of any ex isn't necessary...period. I know sometimes we use this as filler but we should try and be more original...the "how long has it been since your last relationship" convo can wait as well.
Remember, you only get one chance to make a first impression….make it good. No pressure, no talk of marriage and kids on the first date...please- buy the girl a drink first jeez! lol.
"Matt Holiday" wants a second date…of course he does, he just got a free therapy session and free beer! But I kindly declined and said, " I'm sorry, I'm on a budget"
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE, these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date...lol!
I am in no way saying I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them... yes, I think I may make this a habit...
And for clarification...dating is for research... I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness." On my part anyway...
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research!..lol
Chapter 4
"Cause it's 1, 2, 3 strikes you're out"
I went on a date last week and let's just say…he put himself in the friends zone
He wanted to meet up for a drink, he picked Seau's which is a Bar and Grill for those who aren't in the know. I knew the game was on but I thought it was a good choice, we could have a few drinks, all very casual, have a few laughs and get to know eachother. I didn't expect that his love for baseball would really over power our meet up.
*Guys, do not take a girl to Seau's to watch the base ball game on the first date. I am all for the game but …when she is talking to you, you need to be looking her in the eyes not looking at the TV yelling- "double play!"
*When engaging in conversation, do not do all the talking…ask her questions and don't try to initiate more conversation with "so what else would you like to know about me?", after you just spent the last hour talking about yourself and not asking her anything in return.
*I love kids but I don't find it necessary to bring out the pics of your kids on the first date. I understand proud Papas everywhere want to do this but please, on the first date…hold back unless she asks you to see them. Why you ask? Because you don't know how she is going to react and not every woman is going to respond with "oh how cute, when can I meet them"
*When the bill comes guys, you pay for it. Do not let the girl pay. THIS IS OUT OF COURTESY. Now I know some of you are thinking, in this dating age, it should be equal…but fellas, ladies like to be treated as ladies..you invited her, you pay the bill…if she throws out her card, do not take it. Of course should she call you up one day and say "I'm taking you out, I'm paying", or should the dating lead to a relationship, by all means, you can go back and forth. But the first date typically-YOU PAY.
I took my card out, expected him to decline to take it…but he took my card…..so speaking in terms he would understand "can you say strike 3 buddy?"
Guys, the first date should just be about getting to know each other, your likes and dislikes, hobbies, goals etc. There should be no emotional back drop to your life and baby mama drama either. All the talk of the "ex" and how she "screwed you over, but you still have love for her" is not necessary. Talk of any ex isn't necessary...period. I know sometimes we use this as filler but we should try and be more original...the "how long has it been since your last relationship" convo can wait as well.
Remember, you only get one chance to make a first impression….make it good. No pressure, no talk of marriage and kids on the first date...please- buy the girl a drink first jeez! lol.
"Matt Holiday" wants a second date…of course he does, he just got a free therapy session and free beer! But I kindly declined and said, " I'm sorry, I'm on a budget"
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE CH.3
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE, these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date...lol!
I am in no way saying I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them... yes, I think I may make this a habit...
And for clarification...dating is for research... I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness." On my part anyway...
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research!..lol
Chapter 3
"If I Keep Seeing You, I'm Going To Need Another Job..."
$10-parking…
If a girl is going to visit you…and the only parking available is the $10 parking structure across the street, gentelmen, you should offer to pay…
Hell, if you were coming to visit me and my parking was $10, I would do the same!
So I go to visit this guy, I paid it not just once but twice…how does the saying go "pay parking once, shame on you, pay it twice shame on me" ?? something like that right? Lesson learned.
Tip of the day-Teeth.
Gentlemen, women are of a kinder species. I agree that there must be chemistry between people but looks aren't everything to us. ….although there is one thing that I find I cannot get away from….Your grill….if it's not right-GET IT FIXED SON!
Yeah I said it….. look, I had jacked up teeth at one time too…hey they didn't call me jaws for nothing, my Mom and Dad have video of me then, and I'm not proud of it…but I got my grill fixed ok!? Do the same…there is really no excuse for a jacked up grill.
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE, these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date...lol!
I am in no way saying I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them... yes, I think I may make this a habit...
And for clarification...dating is for research... I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness." On my part anyway...
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research!..lol
Chapter 3
"If I Keep Seeing You, I'm Going To Need Another Job..."
$10-parking…
If a girl is going to visit you…and the only parking available is the $10 parking structure across the street, gentelmen, you should offer to pay…
Hell, if you were coming to visit me and my parking was $10, I would do the same!
So I go to visit this guy, I paid it not just once but twice…how does the saying go "pay parking once, shame on you, pay it twice shame on me" ?? something like that right? Lesson learned.
Tip of the day-Teeth.
Gentlemen, women are of a kinder species. I agree that there must be chemistry between people but looks aren't everything to us. ….although there is one thing that I find I cannot get away from….Your grill….if it's not right-GET IT FIXED SON!
Yeah I said it….. look, I had jacked up teeth at one time too…hey they didn't call me jaws for nothing, my Mom and Dad have video of me then, and I'm not proud of it…but I got my grill fixed ok!? Do the same…there is really no excuse for a jacked up grill.
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE CH.2
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE.
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE; these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date…. lol!
I am in no way saying that I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun. ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them...yes, I think I might make this a habit…
And for clarification…dating is for research..I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness"...on my part anyway.
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research! ;p
CHAPTER 2
"I'm just f*&kin with you DAWG!"
This guy was cool…sober. Get a drink in him and he treats you like one of his "homies"
The first time him and I went out, he got drunk. I'm thinking, no problem, I'm driving anyway. Well no, not ok. We go Karaoke and I thought it would be fun to be silly. He took it waaaaaaaaaay to seriously. He was so worried he was going to sound horrible on the microphone but I told him that the point of Karaoke was to be silly and not care what you sounded like; have fun with it. The look on his face was priceless. It was like he thought he was auditioning for American Idol. Anyway, he sucked which made me laugh but he got so pissed off and stormed out of the Karaoke bar.
He said he didn't smoke but oh boy was he lighting em up that night! Then after like the 3rd or 4th pitcher of beer, I must of looked like a dude because he started making jokes, which was fine but, then punching me in the arm and kept saying "I'm fuckin with you Dawg!" Whatever….
I was driving this guy home and thought he's just being silly but then, as I'm driving, we come to a red light and he wants me to run it….when I don't, he says: "you should have ran that light Pussy"….there was no "I'm just fuckin with you Dawg!", this time.
In my mind: "Dude, you're done."
I took him home and I went to my house. He called….several times, I didn't answer the phone. He stopped calling and got the hint….or so I thought.
A few months later he texts and, wants to get together to catch up. I thought ok, harmless besides, he was really drunk that night and I think he gets that I just want to be friends.
We go to dinner and he orders 2 tall vodka tonics for himself, and a pitcher of Sangria…he finishes it, by himself…then out comes my "karaokeing, cancer stick having, "I'm just fuckin with you dawg", friend…
In my mind: "ohhhhhhhhh yeah, Now I remember why I didn't want to go out with him."
Now if this was a friend of mine, I wouldn't have minded his behavior at all, I mean we all act silly when we are drunk and sometimes quite unpleasant, I sure have and my friends can attest to this but, he didn't just want to be my friend.
I just wanted to leave but…he was a talker. I was already over it and just wanted to get home. I had parked at his place and we had taken a cab to dinner. On the ride home from dinner, I had to listen to the extended version of "Sweet Child of Mine" which would be funny normally but, he was trying to sing it totally serious...I wanted to get out of there and thankfully, though hours later..I did.
I have tried to let him down easy but he still calls….
So why wouldn't I just tell the guy straight out? I may have to but really..
He should know better...
* A general rule of thumb: if a girl doesn't call you back after you have called her several times and she's not already a friend of yours…that's pretty obvious man…let it go.
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE; these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date…. lol!
I am in no way saying that I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun. ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them...yes, I think I might make this a habit…
And for clarification…dating is for research..I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness"...on my part anyway.
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research! ;p
CHAPTER 2
"I'm just f*&kin with you DAWG!"
This guy was cool…sober. Get a drink in him and he treats you like one of his "homies"
The first time him and I went out, he got drunk. I'm thinking, no problem, I'm driving anyway. Well no, not ok. We go Karaoke and I thought it would be fun to be silly. He took it waaaaaaaaaay to seriously. He was so worried he was going to sound horrible on the microphone but I told him that the point of Karaoke was to be silly and not care what you sounded like; have fun with it. The look on his face was priceless. It was like he thought he was auditioning for American Idol. Anyway, he sucked which made me laugh but he got so pissed off and stormed out of the Karaoke bar.
He said he didn't smoke but oh boy was he lighting em up that night! Then after like the 3rd or 4th pitcher of beer, I must of looked like a dude because he started making jokes, which was fine but, then punching me in the arm and kept saying "I'm fuckin with you Dawg!" Whatever….
I was driving this guy home and thought he's just being silly but then, as I'm driving, we come to a red light and he wants me to run it….when I don't, he says: "you should have ran that light Pussy"….there was no "I'm just fuckin with you Dawg!", this time.
In my mind: "Dude, you're done."
I took him home and I went to my house. He called….several times, I didn't answer the phone. He stopped calling and got the hint….or so I thought.
A few months later he texts and, wants to get together to catch up. I thought ok, harmless besides, he was really drunk that night and I think he gets that I just want to be friends.
We go to dinner and he orders 2 tall vodka tonics for himself, and a pitcher of Sangria…he finishes it, by himself…then out comes my "karaokeing, cancer stick having, "I'm just fuckin with you dawg", friend…
In my mind: "ohhhhhhhhh yeah, Now I remember why I didn't want to go out with him."
Now if this was a friend of mine, I wouldn't have minded his behavior at all, I mean we all act silly when we are drunk and sometimes quite unpleasant, I sure have and my friends can attest to this but, he didn't just want to be my friend.
I just wanted to leave but…he was a talker. I was already over it and just wanted to get home. I had parked at his place and we had taken a cab to dinner. On the ride home from dinner, I had to listen to the extended version of "Sweet Child of Mine" which would be funny normally but, he was trying to sing it totally serious...I wanted to get out of there and thankfully, though hours later..I did.
I have tried to let him down easy but he still calls….
So why wouldn't I just tell the guy straight out? I may have to but really..
He should know better...
* A general rule of thumb: if a girl doesn't call you back after you have called her several times and she's not already a friend of yours…that's pretty obvious man…let it go.
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE CH.1
THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE; these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date…. lol!
I am in no way saying that I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun. ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them...yes, I think I might make this a habit…
And for clarification…dating is for research..I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness".
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research! lol
CHAPTER 1
"You Have No Integrity!"
This one's about a year old and a lot of my friends have heard it but I find I still get the "What the f*&k? Are you serious" reaction, which always makes me laugh.
I went out with what I thought was a nice guy….funny, good conversation, just all around seemed like someone I would like to get to know. We were enjoying ourselves; closing the restaurant down!
He had explained that he was part of some mentoring group, kind of like a life coach and I thought that was awesome. He had even mentioned that it would be cool if I checked it out. I was intrigued. He spoke a lot of this group and I was thinking "nice guy, cool."
He seemed super sweet and he must have felt comfortable with me because he felt like sharing a personal story with me. I forget now, but he had some financial stint in his past and was explaining how he got past it. Well since he was sharing, I did the same. I explained how my Dog of 13 years had been sick and how so much money was spent on his medications to keep him healthy but he ultimately passed away.
Well as soon as I got into the story, he ended it…this guy went from sweet guy to asshole in about 0.3 seconds. He stopped smiling, and got this super serious look on his face. He said, "that's no integrity". I literally had to do a double take because I couldn't believe that this was coming from this guy I just spent 3 hours talking up a storm with. I said, "I'm sorry?" He says, "You're telling me, you spent all that money on a dog!? We need to discuss this, this is unacceptable."
Well my dog had just passed away a couple of months ago, and I tried so hard to fight it but I began tearing up and he just keeps going, "blah blah blah, you should never spend your money that way" I asked him to stop because he was making me cry. I was not only embarrassed but super upset..and he kept going! I just got up and walked out, he followed. I couldn't manage to get the words out. I wanted to say a lot of things but I just got in my car.
I recapped this date for a friend of mine and her husband. When I got to the part about him telling me I have no integrity, the husband who is usually very mellow and never gets upset, turns red and says to me " don't get involved with that guy, the group he's a part of is like a cult, this guy is totally brainwashed!" I was shocked….he said his old company tried to make him go to one of their seminars and he walked out. It made sense to me because of all things to say he said I had no integrity, which I feel doing what I did for my dog was quite the opposite! My friends husband said this group uses that word often to break it's members down and then fill them with the things they want them to learn. They both said it was like Snoop was with me that night and saved me from considering this guy my friend
:-D
He called, several times, and didn't seem to get that I was not going to see him again. He actually said, " I think we hit it off really well and I would love to see you again." HELLLOOO! DID YOU NOT JUST SEE ME BALL MY EYES OUT F*CKER!?
I guess he didn't like that I didn't call him back so he sent me an email…I wanted to reply with:
"The next time I see you, I am going to kick your balls into your throat.
Fuck your face,
-Lori"
Instead, being the lady that I am ;), I responded with, "No, I will not be going out with you again. I shared a very personal story with you as you did with me and you criticized me. In the future when a lady is sharing something like that with you, do not judge or criticize…doing so will not get you second date."
He got the hint.
** Guys and girls alike, you may not always agree with what a person is doing, but it doesn't give you the right to judge or criticize, especially on the first date…leave that to when you are in a relationship. LOL LOL!
Although this date goes down in my dating diary as one of THEEEEEEEE worst, I must say, I love that I have this story to tell my friends because now it just makes me laugh…and well, we could always use a good laugh right!.....besides, the good dates aren't as fun to write about! ;)
Disclaimer:
The following stories are TRUE; these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date…. lol!
I am in no way saying that I am the perfect date, I'm just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun. ;-)
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don't claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them...yes, I think I might make this a habit…
And for clarification…dating is for research..I will not give into "selling out" and you will not see any symptoms of "bitchassness".
-Your feedback and comments are welcome...all in the name of research! lol
CHAPTER 1
"You Have No Integrity!"
This one's about a year old and a lot of my friends have heard it but I find I still get the "What the f*&k? Are you serious" reaction, which always makes me laugh.
I went out with what I thought was a nice guy….funny, good conversation, just all around seemed like someone I would like to get to know. We were enjoying ourselves; closing the restaurant down!
He had explained that he was part of some mentoring group, kind of like a life coach and I thought that was awesome. He had even mentioned that it would be cool if I checked it out. I was intrigued. He spoke a lot of this group and I was thinking "nice guy, cool."
He seemed super sweet and he must have felt comfortable with me because he felt like sharing a personal story with me. I forget now, but he had some financial stint in his past and was explaining how he got past it. Well since he was sharing, I did the same. I explained how my Dog of 13 years had been sick and how so much money was spent on his medications to keep him healthy but he ultimately passed away.
Well as soon as I got into the story, he ended it…this guy went from sweet guy to asshole in about 0.3 seconds. He stopped smiling, and got this super serious look on his face. He said, "that's no integrity". I literally had to do a double take because I couldn't believe that this was coming from this guy I just spent 3 hours talking up a storm with. I said, "I'm sorry?" He says, "You're telling me, you spent all that money on a dog!? We need to discuss this, this is unacceptable."
Well my dog had just passed away a couple of months ago, and I tried so hard to fight it but I began tearing up and he just keeps going, "blah blah blah, you should never spend your money that way" I asked him to stop because he was making me cry. I was not only embarrassed but super upset..and he kept going! I just got up and walked out, he followed. I couldn't manage to get the words out. I wanted to say a lot of things but I just got in my car.
I recapped this date for a friend of mine and her husband. When I got to the part about him telling me I have no integrity, the husband who is usually very mellow and never gets upset, turns red and says to me " don't get involved with that guy, the group he's a part of is like a cult, this guy is totally brainwashed!" I was shocked….he said his old company tried to make him go to one of their seminars and he walked out. It made sense to me because of all things to say he said I had no integrity, which I feel doing what I did for my dog was quite the opposite! My friends husband said this group uses that word often to break it's members down and then fill them with the things they want them to learn. They both said it was like Snoop was with me that night and saved me from considering this guy my friend
:-D
He called, several times, and didn't seem to get that I was not going to see him again. He actually said, " I think we hit it off really well and I would love to see you again." HELLLOOO! DID YOU NOT JUST SEE ME BALL MY EYES OUT F*CKER!?
I guess he didn't like that I didn't call him back so he sent me an email…I wanted to reply with:
"The next time I see you, I am going to kick your balls into your throat.
Fuck your face,
-Lori"
Instead, being the lady that I am ;), I responded with, "No, I will not be going out with you again. I shared a very personal story with you as you did with me and you criticized me. In the future when a lady is sharing something like that with you, do not judge or criticize…doing so will not get you second date."
He got the hint.
** Guys and girls alike, you may not always agree with what a person is doing, but it doesn't give you the right to judge or criticize, especially on the first date…leave that to when you are in a relationship. LOL LOL!
Although this date goes down in my dating diary as one of THEEEEEEEE worst, I must say, I love that I have this story to tell my friends because now it just makes me laugh…and well, we could always use a good laugh right!.....besides, the good dates aren't as fun to write about! ;)
NO BITCHASSNESS!
My friend Lili and I were talking about one of our friends that just got engaged and we began going down the list of our friends who are getting married, have gotten married, or are in these serious relationships where we don’t see them anymore aka..."SELLING OUT"
Well we went down the list and alot of our friends are performing this disgusting action or as Diddy would put it..."Have caught a serious case of Bitchassness" and when we thought about it, it’s like her and I are one of the last ones left who haven’t sold out...so we made an agreement….literally, a contract. We each came up with our own versions and presented them to each other....I thought mine was only fair as it had a time limit and figured that if we both had someone we were happy with, we could prevent eachother from this horrible disease and keep eachother on track but alas, she informed there is no cure for this and even if we both had significant others...we would be too vulnerable and catch this disease.She has my best interest in mind so I’m signing her version!
Here is mine.
I Lorena M. Lopez and Liliana Cruz agree to remain single until the other has found an equal amount of happiness in a partner. If one is unhappy, the other is forbidden to commit to their partner. Commitment is defined as: too many evenings alone with one boy, discussing of "love" for a boy, performing duties of that of a future wife or girlfriend i.e. Cleaning for them, cooking for them, missing out on important functions for them (vegging out at said parties houses), or anything else that would constitute Bitchassness or selling out. Lori and Lili are sole property of each other and said parties will remain so until written consent of both parties stating the release of each other and all liabilities.
(For complete definiton of Selling out please refer to paragraph 14a).
X______________X_________________
Here is hers…
It is understood by both parties herein. lorena lopez and liliana cruz that no selling out will occur in this life time nor the next. Under the condition that parties named herein satisfy the following: Going down, fabulous dates, and occational dibble dabble of the opposite sex. Parties acknowledge, and are bound by such agreement now and until eternity.Failing to comply with such agreement will cause the offender to be thrown of the San Francisco Bridge
X____________ X_________________________
She quickly felt the need to correct me as mine had a time limit, she said, "NO BITCH...THIS IS FOREVER!"
LOL LOL...no but seriously to our friends who are in committed relationships, engaged, or married, we are happy for you....I guess.-Lori and Lili :)
Well we went down the list and alot of our friends are performing this disgusting action or as Diddy would put it..."Have caught a serious case of Bitchassness" and when we thought about it, it’s like her and I are one of the last ones left who haven’t sold out...so we made an agreement….literally, a contract. We each came up with our own versions and presented them to each other....I thought mine was only fair as it had a time limit and figured that if we both had someone we were happy with, we could prevent eachother from this horrible disease and keep eachother on track but alas, she informed there is no cure for this and even if we both had significant others...we would be too vulnerable and catch this disease.She has my best interest in mind so I’m signing her version!
Here is mine.
I Lorena M. Lopez and Liliana Cruz agree to remain single until the other has found an equal amount of happiness in a partner. If one is unhappy, the other is forbidden to commit to their partner. Commitment is defined as: too many evenings alone with one boy, discussing of "love" for a boy, performing duties of that of a future wife or girlfriend i.e. Cleaning for them, cooking for them, missing out on important functions for them (vegging out at said parties houses), or anything else that would constitute Bitchassness or selling out. Lori and Lili are sole property of each other and said parties will remain so until written consent of both parties stating the release of each other and all liabilities.
(For complete definiton of Selling out please refer to paragraph 14a).
X______________X_________________
Here is hers…
It is understood by both parties herein. lorena lopez and liliana cruz that no selling out will occur in this life time nor the next. Under the condition that parties named herein satisfy the following: Going down, fabulous dates, and occational dibble dabble of the opposite sex. Parties acknowledge, and are bound by such agreement now and until eternity.Failing to comply with such agreement will cause the offender to be thrown of the San Francisco Bridge
X____________ X_________________________
She quickly felt the need to correct me as mine had a time limit, she said, "NO BITCH...THIS IS FOREVER!"
LOL LOL...no but seriously to our friends who are in committed relationships, engaged, or married, we are happy for you....I guess.-Lori and Lili :)
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